Everyone Has Secrets

Sometimes it feels like what you and I had was a different life. A different person. But then other times it feels like just yesterday. I am am happily committed, and you are… Well you’re at least committed. I don’t want to be with you. It’s just that sometimes, after a relationship ends, it’s hard to remember why it ended and not just all the happy times you had. I think that’s what’s happening now. I feel you slipping farther and farther away, and that’s good. But you know me, being the control freak I am, I am still trying to hold on for some reason. And there’s no one I can talk to about it, the only two people I trust with this sort of stuff are you and her. Well I can’t tell her because she wouldn’t understand. Plus what I’m having sounds a lot like doubt and I don’t want to give her pause to think I’m doubting us. And I can’t tell you because it would only confuse you more. You are working on letting go and I don’t want to jeopardize that. But lately I’ve been missing you more. Maybe it’s because our anniversary just passed and I’m thinking back to where we were 4 years ago around now. I don’t know. I just know that right now, even with the love of my life in my arms and a beautiful future ahead of me, I miss you.

I’m not perfect, but I swear I’m perfect for you

And there’s no guarantee that this will be easy

I’m jealous of a girl you met on tumblr, who you have never met in real life, and who is probably straight. And you think you have issues. I might be falling for you. How crazy is that. I can’t wait to kiss your beautiful face again.